The “Am I Judgmental” Test

We’ve been talking about The Grace Way and rejoicing in the amazing grace of God at work in our lives. One of the important things grace should do in our lives is make us grace givers as well as grace receivers… So, how do we make sure that we’re extending grace – and not judgement – to people around us?

Mike Lee is the pastor of Third Baptist Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Recently he preached a message from Matthew 7 on what it really means to judge others.  In his message, Mike shared these 11 questions designed to help us discern a judgmental and critical spirit.

1. Am I more likely to see the sin in others than in myself?

2. When I pray, am I more likely to pray for God’s judgment on others rather than marvel at God’s amazing grace toward me?

3. Am I overly critical toward others while I give myself a pass or an excuse and justify my own sin?

4. Does my own sin ever lead me to deep regret and repentance?

5. Do I have people around me who have permission to hold me accountable for my sin and unforgiving heart?

6. Do I have a tendency to be unforgiving while expecting others to forgive me quickly?

7. Do I find joy in exposing sin in others?

8. Do I find more joy in the “gotcha” moments of exposing sin or in sharing the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ?

9. When others see how I deal with people, will they come away rejoicing that God is mighty to save or thinking that God would never forgive them and there is no hope for forgiveness?

10. Do I receive correction humbly?

11. Before I correct others, do I spend time in God’s Word and prayer asking the Holy Spirit to expose my sin so that I might repent?

When we deal with hurting, and messed up people, lets ask ourselves these questions and make sure we are giving them help and hope as they draw near to God.

Adapted from the “Kingdom People” blog by Trevin Wax on The Gospel Coalition.

“The New Testament Gamble”

Adapted from the book, “Truefaced,” by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and John Lynch.  A fascinating book – I encourage you to read it.

We discover in Grace that the almost unthinkable has happened. God has shown all of his cards. He reveals a breathtaking protection that brings us out of hiding. In essence, God says…

“What if I tell them who they are? What if I take away any element of fear in condemnation, judgment, or rejection? What if I tell them I love them, will always love them? That I love them right now, no matter what they’ve done, as much as I love my only Son? That there’s nothing they can do to make my love go away?

“What if I tell them there are no lists? What if I tell them I don’t keep a log of past offenses, of how little they pray, how often they’ve let me down, made promises that they don’t keep? What if I tell them they are righteous, with my righteousness, right now? What if I tell them they can stop beating themselves up? That they can stop being so formal, stiff, and jumpy around me? What if I tell them I’m crazy about them? What if I tell them, even if they run to the ends of the earth and do the most horrible, unthinkable things, that when they come back, I’d receive them with tears and a party?

“What if I tell them that if I am their Savior, they’re going to heaven no matter what – it’s a done deal! What if I tell them they have a new nature-saints, not saved sinners who should now ‘buck-up and be better if they were any kind of Christians, after all he’s done for you!’ What if I tell them that I actually live in them now? That I’ve put my love, power, and nature inside of them, at their disposal! What if I tell them that they don’t have to put on a mask? That it is ok to be who they are at this moment, with all their junk. That they don’t need to pretend about how close we are, how much they pray or don’t, how much Bible they read or don’t. What if they knew they don’t have to look over their shoulder for fear if things get too good, the other shoe’s gonna drop?

“What if they knew I will never, ever use the word ‘punish’ in relation to them? What if they knew that when they mess up, I will never “get back at them?” What if they were convinced that bad circumstances aren’t my way of evening the score for taking advantage of me? What if they knew the basis of our friendship isn’t how little they sin, but how much they let me love them? What if I tell them they can hurt my heart, but that I never hurt theirs? What if I tell them I like Eric Clapton’s music too? What if I tell them I never really liked the Christmas handbell deal with the white gloves? What if I tell them they can open their eyes when they pray and still go to heaven? What if I tell them there is no secret agenda, no trapdoor? What if I tell them it isn’t about their self-effort, but about allowing me to live my life through them?”

When we stand at life’s crossroads, we decide which road to choose largely upon how we see God’s “gamble.” Do I really believe this stuff will hold up-for me? This is the way of life in Grace. It is the way home to healing, joy, peace, fulfillment, contentment, and release into God’s dreams for us. It almost feels like we’re stealing silverware from the king’s house, doesn’t it? Truth is, the king paid a lot so that we wouldn’t have to try to steal any silverware. He gets to give it to us; and other stuff so big and good and beautiful that we couldn’t even begin to stuff it into our bag of loot… It takes the eyes some adjustment to look into such light, huh?

Here’s a portion read by one of the authors:

10 Books Every Christian Should Read

Hello, my name is Scott and I’m a reader…

I was asked a couple of months ago, “What are some books you think everybody should read?” The question really set me to thinking – and honestly answering it has been harder than I thought it would be. I read so much and so widely that whittling it all down to a list of just 10 has been quite a challenge.

For almost every one of these books I could have substituted 3 or 5 or 10 others on the same topic, but I tried to stick with books that can be found pretty easily and inexpensively. I feel confident than anyone can buy all these books and spend no more than $50 – $70, if they’re willing to buy used books.

By the way, the Bible is a given, so please – no comments about how I didn’t include it on the list.

Here they are in no particular order:

• The Purpose Driven Life – Rick Warren. The best selling hardback book in history for good reason.
• Mere Christianity – C. S. Lewis. The classic defense/explanation of true faith.
• The Grace Awakening – Charles Swindoll. Arguably one of the best preachers of the last 50 years, Swindoll makes a stirring case for the gospel of grace.
• My Utmost for His Highest – Oswald Chambers. This classic devotional work was compiled by Chamber’s wife after his death on the mission field at 43.
• Forgotten God – Francis Chan. A brief, basic theology of the Holy Spirit. Chan shows how the Spirit can and should operate in the life of the believer.
• Vintage Jesus – Mark Driscoll. In straightforward style, Driscoll examines the person and work of Jesus Christ.
• Experiencing God – Blackaby and King. Contemporary classic, dealing with how to deepen our relationship with our Creator.
• With Christ in the School of Prayer – Andrew Murray. This well known work teaches how to grow stronger in our communication with God.
• The Search for Significance – Robert S. McGee. Addresses the major ways we think incorrectly about ourselves, and reveals God and his grace as the way to health.
• Law and Grace – Alva McClain. The best book I have ever read on the place and purpose of the Law in the Christian life.

Each book is available through Amazon and ChristianBook.com. Most are available through retail stores – though they may have to special order.  Four or five of the books can be found in almost any Goodwill or other thrift store. And, with the exception of “Law and Grace,” every book has an audio version available for folks who don’t like to read.

Just so you know, “Mere Christianity,” “With Christ in the School of Prayer,” and to a degree, “Law and Grace” are written in a less-than-contemporary style. Those books might be an uphill battle for the casual reader – but are well worth the effort.

Which of these have you read? What would you add or delete from the list?

10 Ways to Love Your Kids

One of my goals in blogging is to find writers, thinkers, and ministry leaders with interesting and thought-provoking points of view and share them with folks who might not otherwsie know about them.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, mother of 5, writer, and blogger at lovingthelittleyears.com.

In her recent blog, I found things I wholeheartedly agree with, things I had to think through, things that challenged and convicted me. I hope your experience is similar.

1) Eagerly, humbly submit to the Word of God.

When you sin in front of your children, confess it. When you assert your authority over them, your children should clearly see the authority that you are submitting to. Your submission to God is your qualification to teach them. Let them see it, and they will know that you aren’t a petty tyrant.

2) Don’t pigeonhole your children.

Seemingly harmless things like calling your children “the artistic one,” “the athletic one,” or “the loving one” can make your children feel like their value to you is tied up in one characteristic. It can also invite sibling rivalry and resentments. Moreover, sets you up to stop trying to learn about them, as you begin to interpret everything through that expectation and sets them up to think that that’s the only part of them you appreciate.

3) Discipline biblically.

When you discipline, make sure it has a biblical category. A godly parent can’t discipline for “being annoying,” “making a mess,” or “squirming.” Instead, look to correct disobeying, lying, or something that you can support with Scripture, Proverbs and Ephesians in particular. If there isn’t a biblical principle and name behind it, don’t discipline for it.

4) Set clear expectations.

Explain to your children in advance what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. Make sure they understand. This will greatly aid you in #3, as well as giving them the security of knowing what you want.

5) Recognize obedience.

Talk to your children when you aren’t correcting them. Talk about the things they do right. Tell them about specific things that you love about them. Let them know that you know them, that you think of them, and that you enjoy them.

6) Listen to the whole story first.

With little kids you actually might have to take some time to get the story out. Don’t try to hustle past your children in an effort to quickly discipline them. The discipline is for their benefit, not yours. Make sure that they understand and that they know you are interacting with them.

7) Honor your spouse in front of them.

Show love to each other in front of your children. Don’t be short, snarky, or snide with each other in their presence (or out of it for that matter). Children need to see Mom and Dad as one. Parents in fellowship with each other is one of the most basic elements for a secure home.

8) Don’t change your behavior toward your children in public.

Don’t correct them for things just because someone is watching. Security for a child means knowing that their parent is for them, and that when one of them corrects the child, it is for his or her benefit, and not so that others will think the parents have it all together.

9) Don’t take your children’s sins as a personal insult.

Never discipline with a break in fellowship. Don’t be “mad” at your children. Be anxious to have things reconciled.

10) Forgive. For real.

If breaking the window has been forgiven, act like it. Forget it. Do not hold past incidents over your children, especially if you’ve told them you’ve forgiven them. Let it go all the way, every time, “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12).

7 Tips for Talking to People about Jesus

(Tim Gaydos is pastor of the downtown campus of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. What follows was adapted from his original post at The Resurgence blog…)

We met in the elevator of our condo building. Instead of staring down at the ground and avoiding eye contact, I said hello and introduced myself. I asked him a few non-awkward, basic questions. How long have you lived here? Do you like it? Have you met many people?

The following week, I saw him in the lobby, and we picked up the conversation with a longer discussion about sports. I invited him to get a bite to eat and watch a game at a local pub sometime. A couple of weeks later, we were grabbing a bite and watching a game together.

It wasnʼt long it “came out” that I was a Christian, went to church, and loved Jesus. He said to me, “Wow, my stereotype of Christians has been blown away. Youʼre normal. You like good food and drink, you love your city and donʼt come off as a judgmental jerk.” I soon invited him to church, where he heard the gospel preached powerfully. He became a Christian and got involved in Community Groups, praise God.

For whatever reason, it’s easy for Christians to clam up and get weird when talking about their faith in day-to-day life. Here are a few tips to bridge those inhibitions and get the conversation going:

1. Find a road that leads to Jesus. In the course of conversation, be thinking of how Jesus intersects with the discussion, because Jesus intersects and touches everything in our culture: sports, music, art, politics. Look for bridges to introduce Jesus into the conversation. It should be just as casually or passionately as you talk about everything else.

2. Donʼt be weird and awkward. “So…now, Iʼd like to talk with you about Jesus.” If all of a sudden you put on your “Jesus hat” and you’re talking to them like a project and not a friend, then you’re entering awkward territory. Now, there will be times it becomes awkward because talking about Jesus and sin can be that way, but don’t let it be because you are socially weird.

3. Be winsome. Included in that word is the word “win.” Be “winning” friends and the conversation by being engaging, friendly, and kind.

4. Counter stereotypes and caricatures of Christians. A lot of people have a particular caricature of a Christian, which is not very flattering (judgmental, harsh, the “morality police”), although many don’t personally have any Christian friends. Be gracious and talk with them, serve them, and love them.

5. Host an open house. When my wife and I moved into a new neighborhood, we hosted an open house and went over the top with really good food and wine. Dozens of our neighbors came out and it was the foundation for future gospel-centered conversations.

6. Be honest about your struggles and failings. We all fall short. We all struggle and fail. The credit has to be given to Jesus in your life. Many non-Christians donʼt want to talk with Christians as they will feel guilty regarding their own problems.

7. Actions also communicate. Serve your neighbors. Serve your neighborhood. Look for opportunities without being an attention-getter. Your neighbors are watching you – waiting to see if your life matches what you say you believe.

Friday Remix: Beating Ourselves Up…

A couple of years ago, a friend passed along a brief video of what is at first glance a bizarre religious practice from the middle east, in which men beat themselves with sharpened chains…

I said “at first glance” above, because as I reflected on it I realized that I know many Christians who practice “self-flagellation” in one form or another – whenever they attempt to purify themselves through good behavior or self denial. What the young men do in the video is different only by degree from our feeble human attempts to earn, or deserve, or perform, or be “good enough” to earn what God has freely provided for us in Christ Jesus.

What’s sad is that some Christians tend to wear their self-administered beat downs like a badge of honor – they put them on bumper stickers, t-shirts, and into children’s ministry curriculum to try to recruit more followers to their system of works.

It’s safe to say that almost every Christian I know would declare that they are saved by grace – that there was nothing they could do to save themselves, or to earn their salvation. Yet many of them will turn around and try to live by works – as if the thing that could never get them saved will actually keep them saved.

And that’s the Christian version of self-flagellation…

We are saved by grace, and we live through Jesus’ life in us. “Christ in us” is our hope of glory, not our ability to do good or be good.

The End?

In the past 10 days, I have been asked a similar question a couple of different times, “Why don’t you preach or teach on the end times?”  Here’s my answer:

There are sincere, good-willed, Bible believing, Jesus loving Christians who hold wildly divergent views on the end times…

Pre-mils, post-mils, a-mils…

Pre-tribs, mid-tribs, post tribs…

Preterists, full and partial, historists and futurists…

Dispensationalists and Covenantalists…

Darby-ists, Scofield-ians, Lindsey-nistas, Van Impe-ites, etc., etc.

And if none of that rings a bell with you – count yourself very fortunate…

I’ve even known people who said they held the same position who disagreed with each other on the finer points of the details of dozens, even hundreds of things in “their” end times view.

The moment I say, “This is my position” I will have basically written off and marginalized some number of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Suddenly, they think, “Pastor thinks I’m wrong…” and unity and fellowship is threatened. And strangely enough, I would very likely find myself in disagreement with people who claim to hold the same view as I do!

Because I choose to focus on the things that unite us rather than the things that divide us, my appeal to all believers is this: We all agree that “Jesus Christ will come in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end.’ We further believe to one degree or another that we are living in the end times right now. Therefore, let us focus on living prepared lives, so that whenever he returns, we’ll be ready.

That is much more important than which eschatology is correct.

Sunday Replay 07.10.11

We had a gorgeous – and HOT – day @ New Hope on Sunday!  Worship was wonderful, had a new keyboard player – so cool to see some new talented people stepping up to share their gifts with all of us!

We beat our non-Easter record attendance by 1 person!  In the middle of Summer! The sanctuary was packed! It’s great to see new faces every week. Keep spreading those invite cards around! Give them to people in your family, your neighborhood, where you shop… Remember, New Hope exists to give the people of our community their best opportunity to become growing, maturing followers of Jesus!

I preached the second message in our “Meaningless?” series on Ecclesiastes – lot’s of comments on the very moving video at the end.  We had MAJOR tech problems with the recording – but we will do some heavy editing and have a condensed version posted on the website soon.

What a thrill it is to receive new members! We welcome Jerry, Ruth Ann, Brad, Malinda, Briley, and Brant!  Our next “Explore Membership” class will be Sunday, August 7. You can register online – click here: Explore Membership 

We are at the Carroll County Fair all this week – giving away cold bottles of water at the New Hope booth, and face painting and games in the NewHope4Kids booth. Come by for a cool drink and say hello!

Bible Beach Club begins Monday, July 18! We have a record number of pre-registrations, and have registered kids every night of the fair so far.  Will this be the year that Pastor Scott has to kiss a pig???  Register your kids or grandkids, get full info – click here: Bible Beach Club Registration 

Finally – make sure you are @ New Hope next Sunday, as we reveal the details about the worst kept secret in New Hope history!  Seriously, big changes are coming our way very soon – and we will begin sharing information about that this Sunday. See you there!

God bless you all – have a great week!

 

 

 

 

 

Christians – get involved in Social Media NOW!

(an adaptation of a post by pastor Artie Davis)

If you have family members or friends (0f ANY age, the fastest growing age segment on Facebook is 65+), pastors or ministry leaders who are avoiding or, worse, warning people off of Facebook, Twitter and Blogs, they need truckload of reality dumped on them…

Social Media is the fastest growing, fastest moving form of communication – it has become a “utility” and avoiding it or declaring your opposition to it is like being against the telephone…

Social Media presents opportunities to keep people informed about church activities, a massive alternative venue to do outreach and marketing, and best of all the opportunity to convince and influence others for the Gospel.

All THIS happens EVERY 60-SECONDS… (click picture for larger image)

 

Dangerous pet

Occasionally when I’m flipping channels, I’ll come across one of those “When Good Pets Go Bad,” or “When Our Pets Attack Us,” type programs – and I always stop and watch. Most of the time, the stories are NOT about our cats, dogs, and goldfish lashing out at us. No, most of the stories are about people who have made the unfortunate choice to keep a wild or exotic animal as a pet…

• Remember that loveable chimpanzee named Travis who had starred in Old Navy commercials? No? Well he is also the chimp who went on a brutal rampage in 2009 and ripped a Connecticut woman’s face off.
• Las Vegas parents Melissa and Anthony Melendrez were arrested in 2009 on charges of felony child abuse and felony child neglect after their pet python Eve attacked their 3-year-old son. The 18-foot snake bit the boy and coiled around him, squeezing him until he was unconscious. At the moment when the mother saw what was happening, only the boy’s feet were visible.
• Michael Peterman, a firefighter from Dayton, Ohio, loved to collect snakes and lizards. In 2003 he was bitten by his PET poisonous African rhino viper. An anti-venom arrived at the Cincinnati airport just minutes before Peterman died at a nearby hospital.

My conclusion – and it is not well researched beyond watching Animal Planet – is that if you keep an unusual animal for a pet, it is only a matter of time before it rips you or someone you love to absolute shreds!

The vast majority of us stick to the garden variety cats and dogs. And yet, there is a sense in which every one of us lives with some “thing” that can rage out of control and cause unimaginable destruction…

Our hidden sin. Or sins. Those places on the web we don’t anyone to know we visit… That “extra” drink or two that leads to an empty bottle, drunkenness and regret… That text message “flirtation” with a co-worker…

And like the owners of those exotic pets, the thrill, the novelty of the sin blinds us to potential danger… We think we have it under control. We barely notice as the claws grow, or the coils tighten ever so slightly, or eyes narrow. And then it is too late.

We cannot tame it. We cannot teach it to behave. We cannot expect things to be different “this time”… We have to be rid of it.

Trying harder won’t fix it. We can “re-dedicate” until our re-dedicator’s broken. We cannot manage this animal on our own.  We have to be rid of it.

The Good News is that we can be free, and that only happens one way and in one place – by surrendering that dangerous animal to Jesus, recognizing that on the cross he has already forgiven that sin along with every other that has been or will be committed. And going forward in his strength, not our own,

Stop making excuses, stop rationalizing, stop defending your animal. Be free. Before it is too late.